to put in planly, i have servere anxeity. i freak out at the littlest things and honestly it's fucked me over greatly so many times.
one time the teacher was giving draft feedback on some random thing on japan and i was 3rd last, i spent the whole time worrying about what he would say that when it came to my go, i broke down crying.
because i love to embarrass myself, i will be keeping a list of all the things i am anxious about. i will update it regually.
asking the teacher to use the restroom during class, therefore i go to the bathroom every break i have, which makes me look like i either have a small bladder or i drink too much water.
sneezing or coughing during class. im worried that everyone will look at me
i wont be able to make friends or the ones i have will leave me, meaning i will be alone, making more anxious situations happen, such as not being able to find a partner for class work
i often push people away because i try to act tough. on that note, 2019 me tried so hard to me feminine and girly but it didnt work and i looked ugly and stupid so im just permanent tomboy now
im anxious to type these notes out because im often very reclusive and want everything i do to be private. ugh i feel like such a hypocrite. crucify me now.
i once read this very cool book, i'll put the like to it Here!!!! and imma be real here. that book is exactly how i feel about my anxiety, im glad im not alone, although sometimes i cant help but to feel like it....
go home, kid.